The belief that you don’t have a choice
When we deeply understand that we are completely responsible of our feelings and actions, we also start to knowledge that we always have a choice. “I had to do it, I had no choice.” That’s never true! We always have a choice. Every moment we choose to do what we do, and we don’t do anything that isn’t coming out of choice.
This doesn’t say anything about whether we like it or not. I may not like the choice I have to make, but I still have choices in every situation. I can still plan. My thinking cannot be controlled. For instance, we may get on the train to the concentration camp as an alternative to being shot on the spot. It’s not a choice I like, but it’s still a choice.
There’s a Gary Larson cartoon of two guys in chains hanging on a dungeon wall. One says to the other, “so, here’s my plan….”
So be sure to phrase to yourself, “I am choosing to do this thing because I want to”.
What is your motivation behind your choice?
If we are choosing to be completely responsible for our actions then it’s important for us to be conscious that we don’t do anything except for good reasons. The main rule of measure for our actions can be: Everything we do is in service of our needs.
Make choices motivated purely by our desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, duty, or obligation. Anything you give that isn’t for totally self fulfilling reasons, the other person will pay for.
When we are conscious of the life-enriching purpose behind an action we take, when the sole energy that motivates us is simply to make life wonderful for others and ourselves, then even hard work have an element of play in it.
So never do things for others,
only things to meet our own needs.
We would appreciate what we do if we are motivated purely by the human desire to contribute to enrich life. With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
You can mindfully replace language that implies lack of choice with language that acknowledge choice by consciously replacing the phrase “I am angry because you…” with “I am angry because I am needing…” Also replace “I have to” with “I choose to… because I want…” Replace “I should…” with “I might…” And completely avoid any limiting self dialogue, like “I can’t…” or “I’ll never be able to…”, “I am bad in this.”
As Bruce Lipton pointed out in the film “What If…”, you are personally responsible for everything in your life once you are aware that you are personally responsible for everything in your life. So, now that you know, choose to don’t fool yourself anymore and take full responsibility of your feelings, actions and the motivation behind your actions.